Friday, August 25, 2017

30-Day Sobriety Solution Journal: Day 30 & 60 Days Sober!

30 Day Sobriety Solution: Day 30
OMG. Here I am! I made it to the end! Well, as soon as I finish these action steps, I'll be done. And at 3:00 am, I will officially be 60 days sober! I should be celebrating, right? Don't get my wrong, I am proud of myself, but I have been in a depressed mood all day. I even cried a little. In fact, I haven't really been in a good mood all week. After thinking about it today, I think it is the fact that I really am about to achieve my goals of 60 days sober and finishing this program, and I'm actually scared. I'm scared of the idea of deciding never to drink again, and I'm scared to drink again. I don't want to fail either way. Does that make sense? After reading today's chapter, I have to make that choice... so here we go...

Action Step #1: Decide on your plan for the next 30 days regarding drinking:
Technically, now that I've finish my commitment of 60 days, I have said I will give myself permission to drink, but I have no plans to drink Day 61. And I don't have to drink! That's the point, right? I do know I will be out at bars for college football next weekend though, and it may be one of those moments when I want to "test the waters." I know they suggest waiting 6 months, but I don't think I am quite there yet. This was the plan going into this. I will definitely journal about my feelings, how much I drink, where, and with whom. I don't think the not drinking alone thing is very fair to someone like me who is single. But I get it, and I will do my best to avoid that. I definitely have no intention of drinking how much I used to. I plan to have club sodas and lime in between drinks (that is if there are even multiple ones) in case that habit of continually sipping something kicks in. I won't be doing shots and I will be hanging out with people who are aware of and respect that I am cutting back. I will check myself for cravings. I have decided that no matter what, I will do 30 days sober every January no matter what. I will honestly ask myself if I am moving closer to my old behavior and if I am moving closer or father  from the person I want to be on a weekly basis.

Action Step #2: Write down how and where you want to give back over the next 6 months:
I already volunteer for an annual city-wide event, which I will continue to do. I have in the past volunteered for the annual city festival too, which is coming up, so I will make sure I will do that as well. I will be signing up for an 8-week program that puts me with a team to do weekly projects in various areas of the metro. This will be a great way to meet new people and discover different volunteer opportunities to find what I feel passionate about. Once I go through the program, I will sign up for new opportunities.

Action Step #3: Design my new "Happy Hour:"
I sort of already have a daily ritual. I have been walking and listening to and memoirs self-help audiobooks at least 6 days a week. I have not been so good doing a lot of the continuing action steps lately. I want to get back to practicing gratitude, and I want to do the Deepak & Oprah meditation programs I purchase a few years ago that I have yet to successfully get through, starting with "Desire and Destiny." Yes, I have had this for years, and it literally says "Discover your purpose, follow your passion, and become the person you were born to be." As much as I struggled with this yesterday, I think calming my crazy brain and working on the questions they provide each day is what I need!

Action Step #4: Review my "before me" and before photo, keep journaling, and take a moment to acknowledge how far you have come in this program:
I definitely plan to keep journaling. It may be more in my actual physical journal than here, but I know for a fact that journaling is a valuable tool for mental health too. Um, I don't think I took a before picture, but I know I've lost weight, but I've been working on that in earnest too, so it's not just from not drinking. I could have definitely switched out alcohol for food! I feel better and look better in some ways, but unfortunately, my face is breaking out more, I still have some sort of allergic reaction going on on my face, and my digestive system is still not quite right. So that's kind of a bummer! But I know realistically going back to how I was drinking would not help any of that! I read my "before me" and that reinforces that. And hey, now... I did it! I am officially finished! And in less than 30 minutes, my 60 days is official. I have to say, that since I walked this afternoon, thought about why I was feeling down, and finished this just now, I am feeling a lot better.


Now that I am finished, will I be signing off "until tomorrow?" I can't promise that I will blog every day, but I plan to keep this up. I will also continue to try to pop into the companion site, and as I read and listen to other helpful books or find other resources, I will share them here. Thanks for following, and I hope that it has helped others on this program.


Until next time...
Aspiring Reformed Party Girl

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